BDSM and Safety

by | Oct 5, 2020 | BDSM, BDSM101, Mental Health, Safety

Safety, of course, is an important part of BDSM. There are no acts within BDSM that are without risk. Although risk is a clear and present aspect of kink itself, we can mitigate it by being present in our consideration of safety. When we think of safety, preventive measures used to prevent less than desirable occurrences usually come to mind. However, I Iike to view safety as much more. Prevention is one thing. Accommodation is something else entirely. Being safety-minded isn’t only for making sure people don’t experience physical discomfort, but also mental, emotional and spiritual as well. Safety considers all contained within us as well as the bodily vessel that moves us through the world.

What does safety look like?

    • Gaining a thorough understanding of internal and external human anatomy in the context of BDSM as general knowledge and as dictated by involved parties including marginalized existences
      • helps us know where it is ok and not ok to hit/interact with during impact play and other acts
      • helps avoid nerve injury during rope
      • causes us to inquire about old or new injuries in negotiation and act accordingly
      • allows us to better accommodate individuals from chronically Ill, neuroatypical and disabled communities
      • allows us to be better accommodate people whose bodies and experiences are different from our own including but not limited to queer peeps, non-cisgender individuals, black folks and fat folks
    • Becoming trauma-informed
      • helps avoid manifesting new trauma
      • helps avoid making additions to existing trauma
      • helps avoid repeating sources of trauma
      • is a part of changing our personal narratives in relation to trauma
    • Becoming consent informed
      • allows us to view consent as multifaceted
      • helps convey that consent is ongoing
      • causes us to seek enthusiasm with answers in the affirmative
      • makes us mindful of body language and human sounds in consideration of consent
      • helps us consider power dynamics in regard to consent
    • Becoming informed about mental health
      • encourages specific accommodation out of regard for someone’s mental health
      • reminds us that we are whole and BDSM
      • is not a place for us to half or partition ourselves to be seen as desirable
      • helps the neurotypical to better understand neuroatypical individuals
      • allows you to design scenes and dynamics in a way that observes mental health

Safety is for the entirety of someone’s existence. Its observation is for much more than the physical aspects of who we are.

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